slept in and feeling tired

you know that feeling when you sleep in too long and instead of feeling rested you are more tired? well, that's me today. i woke up to my alarm at 7 and ben was making a few squeaks in his room but i promptly turned the alarm off and ben fell back asleep too. so 8am rolls around and i can hear ben making little cries for help in his room. he slept for 10 hours! the problem with 8am, i could also hear jane talking in her room. so i jumped up and fed ben then 30min later went down to jane's room to get her up and ready. she also slept through the whole night - 11 hours! so this momma is happy and a bit over-rested. though i haven't showered yet because i slept through that part of the morning; i think it's okay to get my sleep in once in a while - hopefully it doesn't become a habit of mine to over-sleep.

exercise dilemma

i just finished a 30 minute workout with netflix. it was from a series by self magazine and worked my heart and butt for sure. lately (since ben was born) i have been struggling to get back into a workout routine that works for my schedule and motivates me to work hard.

old routine: once jane was older and i wasn't nursing her anymore i could go to gold's gym in the morning and attend a 1 hour aerobic class which usually worked me hard and i was actually in pretty good shape before my pregnancy with ben and even through the 1st and 2nd trimesters too. the nice thing about the gym was the child care. jane could go play and be supervised so i could exercise in peace. she liked the teachers - even got the nickname "super jane" - and didn't fuss too much about me leaving her there. the problem with the gym is the distance. i knew moving to the valley would be further away but the gym took a lot of time out of the day even when we lived on 1050 n so that wasn't much of an issue (though the new truck costs a bit more in gas.) but 3rd trimester came and i just couldn't do the classes anymore so the gym was only helpful in that they watched jane. i tried to take jane on walks but the weather this spring didn't cooperate. i froze my account at the gym until after ben was born and i felt good enough to exercise again.

new "routine": so ben was born and i actually felt good enough, physically, at 4 weeks postpartum to exercise but the thought of loading both kids in the car by myself all between ben's three hour eating schedule overwhelmed me. we started out going on walks in our neighborhood and thanks to our friends i had a few double strollers to use which was wonderful. even loading them both in the stroller with sunscreen and water and such was a big production so i didn't go walking very often and then it got very hot and i am not very happy in hot weather so it was even more reason to stay in. my freeze at the gym ended in july so i tried it out a few times. i think we have been 6 times in 3 weeks which is okay but the price has gone up because of ben so i'm not too excited.

the problem with the gym now: i have a hard time making it on time to a class because of nursing ben (which i often do in the car before or after the gym while jane colors in the front seat with me.) by the time i feed ben and get them to the nursery, put my stuff in a locker, go to the bathroom, i have about 30 min to work out before it's time for jane to eat or ben or whatever. then we are down in town and i feel like i need to do something else to make the trip worth the gas but that costs more money because i usually buy lunch and groceries or some other errand which might take me across town to my parents' house and be even more gas. anyway, long story short, i don't think the gym is worth it right now - especially because i could be using the nice weather outside.

new equipment: pete found a nordic track at a garage sale for 15$ and i could use it while watching tv in the basement. i haven't quite got the hang of it, the rhythm is a bit tricky but it works while the kids are sleeping. also, we bought the trampoline from my parents and i could go jump on that for 30 min and get a pretty good workout while feeling young because i can still do a back tuck - which works all my muscles at once; but i have to do it when jane and ben are sleeping once again because i can't jump with jane on the tramp and that's what she would want to do if we were both outside.

morale of the story: i need some accountability in working out which is why i like going to the gym - even having strangers around seems to make me work harder. i also need a way to work out with my kids or commit to working hard when they are sleeping (which often is not at the same time yet.) i would like to run more but don't have a stroller that works for both kids until ben can sit on his own thus the need for childcare. i'm just not sure if the nursery is worth 70$ a month plus gas! yikes!

your job: i wrote this so some of you who read my blog can ask me how the exercising is going and maybe participate with me. i would love to go walking on the parkway - it's harder work than you think pushing a kid in the stroller and strapping one to my chest. or we could go on a hike (if someone would strap one of my kids to their back or a trail that accommodated the stroller.) so that's the deal - my gym membership is just not working out right now so solo i go for a while.

night time is stressful sometimes

- i'm going to start this post off by saying: "let's just pretend i didn't take two months off from blogging and get right back into it"

the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful, baby boy who sleeps; and for that i am more grateful every night. last night, ben slept 9.5 hours! go little man, go! jane on the other hand.... probably got a total of 10 hours (great for her health) but it was broken up into hour long sections from 2-5 am! i don't know what it is with her, but we just can't seem to fix her sleeping habits. i'm not asking for advice or sympathy, i'm simply recording this so i can have a laugh later. the past week she has been sleeping great. i put her to bed around 8 she usually falls right asleep - after some coaxing and a stuffed animal or two in bed with her - and might wake up at 10 or 11 for a usual, "change my diaper momma!" episode. because i am still awake, it doesn't bother me to change it for her. she also goes back to sleep fine - except for when she doesn't. then it becomes constant requests - and i, rather than listen to her scream for an hour if i don't fulfill them am more apt to give in. she says, "i don't like my bed" so i try to think of ways to make her feel better: "what if eeyore sleeps in your bed to help you sleep?" or "maybe you would like your baby to sleep with you too" which usually works and she falls back to sleep, sometimes for the rest of the night. well sometimes we pull out all the stops like last night....

i fell asleep on the couch, oops, till 2am. just as i was getting ready for bed i heard the monitor making noises and then the requests and whining came. "momma, change my diaper please!" (at least she said please) so i went down and changed it - it was both wet and poopy which is why i don't feel comfortable just letting her scream it out and not go change it. into her bed she went with little fuss - just a song to calm her down (she likes the lullaby song which i realized i don't know all the words and she is learning songs so quickly so i need to find the words soon) anyway, i hurried and went to sleep.

3:30am - "momma, change my diaper" which was again wet but this time she put up more of a fight to getting back in her bed. she asked for a book and a song which we did the shortest book and one song (mary had a little lamb, yes 4 verses) at least i have convinced her that sometimes it helps me to sing songs to myself to fall asleep and maybe she should try to sing to herself or her baby. it is so sweet to hear her singing on the monitor.

4:30am almost exactly an hour later - "momma, change my diaper!!!!" more insistently this time. so by now i am very annoyed and frustrated. pete has realized that i have been getting up more too and tells me to let her cry it out. i thought about it but because i fall right back to sleep when she is quiet rather than when she is screaming (yes we can hear her in our room without the monitor and i don't want her to wake ben) i decided to go down and check. pull up (i ran out of diapers) is dry which i thought it would be - but i pretended to change it because incessant screaming ensues if i don't at least "check it really quick, momma." so i put her back in her bed, this time she wanted to hold a pull up and a wipe in her bed. strange request but whatever, she likes to hold on to the wipe like a blanket and suck her thumb - i blame my mom for this habit when jane naps at their house.

5am - all was quiet and then i hear it - noises and stirring on the monitor. pete said, "just let her be and go to sleep" but then i heard her request.... "momma, there's something in my nose!" yes, you heard right so i went downstairs and she looked so panicked it was sad. the wipe i had given her had been torn into pieces and apparently she thought it would be good to push it up her nostril (yes, we've hit that stage i just didn't think it would be in the middle of the night.) long story (which this already is) - i pulled out the wipe with my finger and she said, "no, it's not all gone" sure enough there was another piece. so i got her out of bed and looked to see if i could get it. she doesn't know how to blow her nose yet so i wasn't sure if having her try to do that was working - she could have been sucking it back in for all i knew. i went and got the tweezers (i was not about to go to the er at 5 in the morning for them to do the same thing. with jane in a headlock, i pulled out the other piece. there was in fact, one more way up there and that's when i started to panic a bit. so i got my reinforcements - pete, and we went to work. headlamp, jane, tweezers and all, we were ready. i held her head and arm while pete worked the tweezers. bam! out. she did very well too - much less screaming than if a stranger had done it.

after that craziness she went right back to bed (sans wipe and pull up or anything that could be put in her nose) without even changing her diaper. sleep at last - then ben started making noises. yikes! not him too. so i let him be and he fell back asleep, thankfully.

that's the end of our night of craziness. i wish it happened less often but it's an every two or every week thing. now you know why i am so thankful for a baby that consistently sleeps because my toddler doesn't.

sweet prayers

today while i was changing jane's diaper for nap time she said, "pay time, mom" which either means play time or prayer time. we usually pray before bed at night but not at nap time so i covered my bases by saying, "it's not time to play right now, it's nap time. do you want to pray before your nap?" and she said, "pay for friends." now that i knew which "pay" we were talking about the conversation went like this:

me: "okay, which friends should we pray for?"

j: "uh, for... bryson"

me: "okay, we'll pray for bryson"

j: "and wanie (lanie)"

me: "oh, good. for lanie"

i was a bit surprised by these first two responses because bryson is the older brother of jane's friend kael and the last time she saw bryson was on a walk the day before ben was born, 6 weeks ago. lanie is our friend who just moved with her family to colorado so it was interesting that jane would choose to pray for an adult "friend" (she calls everyone friend, even grandma and grandpa) over her kid friends. anyway, we continued on....

j: "and josh, luke, anasten" - the rest of lanie's family - luke is about 9 months older than jane. me: "okay, let's pray for those friends"

i'm sure if i would let her, she would name everyone she knows. so i prayed for our friends and their new house and for bryson and his family and his dad (in afghanistan) to be safe. in Jesus name, amen. instead of saying amen, jane said, "and tank you por aba" ava is probably her closest friend as far as little kids are concerned. i said, "okay, thanks for ava" but jane said, "no, pay for aba!" so i prayed for ava and we said amen and off to nap time she went.

i love the caring heart of my little girl. i pray for myself that i can teach her to always pray for others and to continue to love everyone as her friends. amen.

sleeper

it's 4:10 am and i finished feeding benjamin. now he is wide awake and i am waiting for him to get drowsy enough to sleep. he seems to be bothered by the dark; he fusses more in his crib if the light is off than if i leave the lamp on. he likes to stare at the circle designs on his bedding as he falls asleep so maybe he gets frustrated that they go away once the light is off.

he is a great sleeper. at a week old we took him to the pediatrician and he was already past his birth weight (from 9lb 2oz to 9lb 6oz) so she said i could start letting him sleep through the night and no longer wake him up to feed at night. he had two nights that he slept 8 hours! usually his average is a five hour stretch - which is about four hours of sleep for me.

God has given me another child that sleeps well (though he is a lazy eater like jane was) and for that i am very grateful.